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Dueling Asp & the Flying Staff

numi | November 9, 2009

The Hypocrisy of the Hippocratic Oath

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Dads got Cancer, it’s terminal, to which there can be only one answer. He’s got a small life insurance policy which none of us are after. Dad always took good care of us, growing up he was always the stronger of us. His health has been failing often as of late, now the last room around him will be here in this ICU place.

As he lays unconscious, we’ve been trying to get Mom ready, for the pain that will come when she knows he is gone. The cancer is shutting down his body, organ by organ, body part by part. His heart slow, labored, the hero laureate still will not yield. Even in this carnage form, his lust for life would not lament. Doctor says he needs life support now. I’m so confused! I’m so let down.

Will life support change his status from terminal to recovered? As days turn to weeks, the machines made sure he could breath and force-fed the body. These machines that stood between my father and a 6-foot hole in the ground had a reason for purpose. I’m sorry but in my opinion I can’t help feeling it wasn’t my father’s, mine, or my families well-being that topped the consideration list.

Like a corps outside the tomb, such foulness you could barely stand in the doorway of the room. Still they came, day and night to check the meters and fill the bags. Make sure the nightlight was on in-case he were to wake. It’s so blurry now what does it matter? I’ve come to learn why these doctors, and especially top of the line specialists command such ludicrous fees. Just as they had predicted, but due to an advancement in a new $5,000 filter my Dad actually lived 3.7 days longer than they had originally predicted. Finally, at 10:57 on May 11 what little Dad had left wasn’t even enough that all the toys and their boys could fake it.

Now that the smoke has cleared, and the tears of grief have done their share of being shed. You would think life goes on again… In many cases, this is true. I guess I’m here to represent the angry few? You see Mom and Dad had no real savings to speak of, and Dad’s life insurance wasn’t even enough to pay for a third of his medical bills. Mom’s house is in foreclosure, and we’re trying to get her into bankruptcy court before they attach her pension.

If you want to capitalize life, then you’re in the perfect place for that. If you want to sell health that’s fine with me to. If you want to price it out of my reach, and I may only live to be 40. So be it, I’ll make the best of the 40 I’ve got. But please, please, don’t abuse me. Don’t punish my bloodline three generations deep when there’s no hope for me. There are so few with so very much, and so very many with so very little. As the ratio widens it’s sad to say that the noblest of professions led the way…

What ever happened to the humble man that strived to rid the world of all disease? Who genuinely cared for the crippled and ill, without mention of how or who would pay the bill? Black bag in tow any time of day or night, whenever one of us wasn’t feelin’ right he was there. Just a mere phone call and there he would be, standing over the bed telling a bad joke with the comfort of his “Old Man’s Hand’s” on your fore brow. He knew everything about you, and parts of your family you didn’t even know! Well, after you got what you had coming whatever it was, somewhere in that bag the ol’ Doc had a lollipop! Now, I don’t know how many kids they could have seen in a day back then. But he either didn’t see many, or had a big box in the trunk of the car, but there was always one or two in the bag. The green ones were my favorite. I think he knew that to.

Grandma never let him leave without eating, and he always managed to poke his head in the kitchen to see what was going on anyway. Because he wouldn’t think of insulting the lady of the house! If something happened and for some ungodly reason found yourself in the unfortunate circumstance of having to see another doctor, you had better have a damn good reason. He wore fine suits and sent all his kids to medical school. Lived in a big house, in a prominent part of town. Took frequent vacations and drove a new car every few years. You could say his family nor he wanted for much of anything.

Look how much has changed between the like over the years. Back in a day when people believed that for every good deed you did it came back to you times three. The character and spirit of these people who placed principal above profit times three would prove plenty to have a much more than superficial life. Somewhere along the progression line three fold gave way to five. This gave them a taste of life not known before on Royalty’s wayside. With five in the pocket, nine became the target. The further they became from one and three, hence became their hearts from humanity.

At just what point is it now and where is it going? Behind the scenes, they’re Corporations and Conglomerates major Day-Stock Traders. The folds are so high and insurance fraud is still on the rise. For many it’s their secondary source of income. Some write each other prescriptions. Why is there no drug testing in this very sensitive, talk about taking someone’s life in your hands occupation. Right may indeed make might, but it never proves to be a match for histories undefeated champ; Money; Denero; Dingy; Crown; Yen; Euro; You get the idea…

Just don’t take the oath, and pollute yourself.

Children my children pay attention and listen to me. If you dream of a life of infinite security, lavish materialism, nothing unlike a Hollywood celebrity. What follows is meant for you to ponder. So what if you’re a little short on looks and talent, so you wont quite make it on the TV circuit. Mom & Dad got a little bit of cash; well send your lucky ass to college and pay for your degree. Aren’t we the best? Thank God you’re half way intelligent. Study a little harder, and don’t party as much as the others. If all else fails, well send you overseas where the Medical Board Exams are not so, shall we say Picky! One-way or another were going to get you that MD. Then its all down hill from there just wait and see.

Listen, save yourself a lot of time and effort, don’t concern yourself with lesser things. Like the use of your grammar, or your bedside manner. Things like professional conduct and etiquette, you’ll be much too busy for all that. With the HMO’s its all Peace Meal Work. Besides, half your patients wouldn’t know what it was or how to spell it. For the difficult ones who happen to actually be sick and think they’re so smart. Sometimes you’ll get caught in their hospital room reading his or her chart. Don’t panic! Give a half assed smile and move quickly to the phone. Dial up the pharmacy and get your squash partner Rick on the phone. Tell him you have an Emergency in room 236. He knows what that means; hell send it up right quick. Before you even consider going into your bag of tricks, and pulling out your handy pocket guide on How To Act Like You Really Give A Shit! When in comes nurse Ratchet, a wide smile on her lips and in her hands the fix from Rick… 100Mgs of Morphine drip!!!

In network – Out of pocket…

Out of network – In my pocket…

Co-Pay – I Pay…

Deductible – Not Applicable….

HMO – PPO

PCP – Referral Slip =

“Office Visit”

HIP – Maj/Med

Blue Cross – Blue Shield

Bullshit!!!

As for the hypochondriac that sits at home, has nothing to do except call your office all day and wont leave you alone. Never you mind and never you fret, let him mail order a prescription for Percocet. The harassing calls will stop! They’ll make a miraculous recovery! They’ll tell anyone that will listen; you’re the greatest doctor since Marcus Welby!!! Now, if by chance the case should be that some of the things that come along with becoming an MD like the blood, guts, germs and other grotesque technicalities just doesn’t seem to be your forte. Well, I know its not as prestigious, but lately business is really starting to show promise. With events like 9/11 the country is loaded with depression patients wanting to spend money on anything. Psychiatry is making its mark; maybe you should get in on it early?

Just don’t take the oath, and pollute yourself.

Let’s get together ‘bout half a dozen or so. We’ll start our own practice and make a lot of dough. We’ll name it: “Something,” “Something,” Family Practice. Women love that whole fancy family concept thing. We’ll advertise, use banners and coupons for three or more. We can mount a TV; play Jerry Springer and all that crap. Keep a bowl of cheap candy around for the difficult little brats. Cash and all Major Credit Cards accepted. Payment before you will be seen! Personal checks and billing are not allowed because frankly if you die, it’s very litigious for us to get our money, you see? Multi – Million dollar mansions, Porsche and Lamborghini. We’re keeping Mercedes in business. Do you know how many comp cases we have to turn a week just to make the private jet payment?

Roll ‘em in and get ‘em out, the average office visit between a doctor and his patient is 3.3 minutes, and that’s counting standing up and sitting down! It’s become a volume business, all the Insurance Companies fault! They got together and won’t pay us what we want. Who the Hell do they think they are? Tell me, just when did the Insurance Industry Organize?? So you see, you really must blame them for all the haste and decline in the quality of care you now receive. We’re just doing what we must, so we can make the income we are entitled to. After all, we’re Doctors! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?

Look, don’t hand us the bastardized world and lay blame our way for the lack of parental participation, guidance and control, dysfunctional parenting’s environment has left its product. It’s your skills as “Child Rearing Parents” that have continued to decay, producing what character of man you have today. We so unfairly get charged with all the wrong offenses, simply because we’re associated with health and medicine. We’re no different than any other profession in Capitalism today, nothing personal just business! Isn’t that what they ALL say…